Nana’s Poundcake, Food, and Cultural Connection

Nana's PoundcakeFood for us comes from our relatives, whether they have wings or fins or roots. That is how we consider food. Food has a culture. It has a history. It has a story. It has relationships. –– Winona Laduke

Food is about more than sustenance. It is about pleasure and joy and connection. Food is one of the ways we connect with our cultural traditions and our ancestors. This is one of the reasons I am so passionate about my work to help people with eating disorders. When someone has an eating disorder and they are fearful of eating or of eating certain foods, they miss out on the pleasures of food and they miss out on the opportunities to connect with others through food. They also miss out on their own connection with their relatives and their cultural heritage.

In my own family, my 103-year-old Nana has always been known for her piano playing and her delicious poundcake. While her prized Steinway piano now stands in my home, I did not inherit her piano-playing her abilities. I did, however, learn her poundcake recipe.

From the time I was a young girl, I have memories of “Nana’s poundcake.” Simple to make with only 5 ingredients, buttery and yummy. During visits to Kansas City, I looked forward to making it with her. And when she visited us in New York we would make it together. And, occasionally my mom and I would make it without Nana. My kids have had the experience of making poundcake with my Nana, their great grandmother. And they have made it with me. After she eventually passes, we will retain this connection to my Nana and my kids will hopefully continue to make and share her recipe with future generations.

 

 

 

 

 

Photos of my daughters making poundcake with Nana back in 2012 at her apartment (she was 96)

I am glad to have this connection to Nana and to be able to fully enjoy making and eating poundcake with all its rich butter and sugar. What joy and connection I would be missing out on if I were afraid of eating it. To be able to make it and eat it with enjoyment enriches my life and allows me to have a shared experience through four generations of my family. I will always have joyful memories of baking and eating poundcake with the different generations in my family.

Bonus Feature — Nana’s Poundcake Recipe

  • 1/2 pound salted butter (2 sticks) – softened
  • 1 3/4 cup sugar
  • 5 eggs
  • 2 cups sifted flour
  • 2 T vanilla

 

  • Cream butter and sugar
  • Add eggs one at a time while beating constantly
  • Add flour and flavoring
  • Pour into well-greased loaf pan (or bundt pan)
  • Bake at 350° for 90 minutes

Photos from a poundcake I made with my daughter in 2019.

Sweatin’ for the Wedding: Say, “I don’t.”

Sweating for the Wedding? Say: I Don’t.
Image by rawpixel on Pixabay

by Carolyn Hersh, LMFT

In November of 2018, my boyfriend proposed to me. It was one of the most exciting days of my life thus far. With a proposal comes the next exciting chapter: wedding planning. For many brides-to-be, this entails finding that perfect gown.

Sadly, although not surprising, once I got on bridal mailing lists, I learned I was also being targeted by gyms for “Bridal Boot Camps” and “Sweatin’ for the Wedding.” The weight loss industry found yet another way to weasel their way into a life event that should have nothing to do with changing one’s body.

Why is it that you could be with someone who you love for a certain amount of years, and suddenly the moment they place a ring on your finger you need to change your body? Why does looking beautiful equate to weighing less?

Unfortunately, it has become the norm in our culture to experience pressure to lose weight for special events. A friend once shared that when she was dress shopping her consultant actually wrote down smaller measurements because “all brides lose weight.” When my dress consultant mentioned letting her know if I lose weight, my initial thoughts were, “Are you telling me I need to lose weight? Am I supposed to lose weight? What if I like my body where it is? What if I want to gain weight?”

Granted, our bodies can change. But, hearing about weight loss, exercise programs, and diets specific for the big day can be detrimental to our physical and mental health. The diet industry has found another market and doesn’t care how it impacts the people getting married.. Wedding planning can be stressful enough with trying to create a special day without the added pressure to create a “perfect” body.

But, here is the thing. Your fiance asked to marry you not because of what you’ll look like on that one specific day, but because they are in love with you and everything about you. Getting married is about making a commitment of love to one another. Your wedding day should be a celebration of that.

As brides or grooms, we should dress up and present ourselves the way we want to on this day but, it should not be at the expense of our health and well being. Remember what this day is about. Your wedding is not about the celebration of the size of your body but about the love between you and your significant other and making a commitment to one another.

What to do Instead of “Sweatin it”

Here are some tips I have developed to use myself and also with my clients who were wedding dress shopping:

  1. Buy a dress that fits you now. Don’t buy something a size smaller. Don’t use words like “my goal size” or “I’ll be pretty when I fit into this.” Fighting your body to go to a size it isn’t meant to be is only going to add more frustration, stress, and sadness. If the person selling you a dress keeps harping on “when you’ll lose weight” or “all brides lose weight” speak up and tell her that isn’t your plan. You do not have to be a victim of diet culture. Buy the dress that makes you feel pretty right now. Also, do not forget that many dresses you try on are just sample dresses. It’s okay if it doesn’t fit perfectly when you try the dress on. The one you get will be tailored to your already beautiful body,
  2. With that, remind yourself of the things that not only make you look beautiful but what makes you feel beautiful. One of my bridal consultants asked me when picking out a dress, “Do you want to feel whimsical? Do you want to feel like a princess? Do you want to be sexy vixen?” Wedding dress shopping became ten times more fun when I could close my eyes and imagine what style of dress would make me feel the most beautiful.
  3. Write down what you want to feel on your wedding day. Write down your hopes and excitements for this day. Think about what memories you want to hold onto.  While the idea of “looking perfect” in your wedding photos may be a strong drive to engage in diet culture, think about what those photos are truly capturing. Most likely, you’ll want to remember this as a day of celebrating love and new beginnings with your partner.
  4. It’s okay to exercise and it is okay to eat. It’s okay to follow your normal routine, As you plan for your wedding continue to follow your intuitive voice. For many people, weddings take months if not years to plan. Do not remove fun foods out of your diet for the sake of just one day. Listen to your body when it comes to exercise. Exercise because you want to give your body the gift of movement, but know it is okay to take days off too. Exercise should not be a punishment to your body.

In Conclusion

You do not need to lose weight for your wedding day. Ultimately, remember what this day means to you and your partner. Your wedding dress should be the accessory to the already amazing you. You know, the person that your partner wants to spend the rest of his or her life with. So, when it comes to “sweatin’ for the wedding,” say, “I don’t.”

Weight Gain in Bulimia Recovery

by Elisha Carcieri, Ph.D., a former associate therapist at EDTLA

Weight Gain in Bulimia RecoveryOne of the hallmark features of eating disorders is placing a high value on body weight and shape in determining one’s self-worth. In addition, people with eating disorders often believe that body shape and weight can be controlled through diet, exercise, or, in the case of bulimia nervosa, purging. Individuals with bulimia nervosa purge in an attempt to eliminate calories consumed (which is actually ineffective), empty or flatten the stomach, modulate mood, or as a self-imposed negative consequence for binging. Bulimia carries serious mental and medical health risks. The road to recovery from bulimia usually involves (at least) outpatient therapy with a qualified mental health professional such as a psychologist.

Bulimia Treatment

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is the most well-researched and effective treatment for bulimia. Therapy begins with an initial goal to immediately stop purging, monitoring weight and food intake and implementing regular eating, which usually looks like three meals and two snacks spread out over the course of the day. Over the course of therapy, the patient and therapist address the various factors that keep the eating disorder going including the over-evaluation of weight, shape, and one’s ability to control these factors, dietary restraint and restricting food intake, and mood and anxiety-related factors associated with the eating problem.

Most patients with bulimia nervosa present to treatment at a weight that is in a “normal” range for their height. This is in contrast to those with anorexia nervosa, who are typically underweight. Despite being at a normal weight, the characteristic weight and body dissatisfaction associated with bulimia is strong at the beginning of treatment, and patients believe that they are controlling their weight via their purging behaviors. People with bulimia often restrict food intake in various ways, only to eventually binge and purge. Because treatment involves eating meals at regular intervals without purging, a common fear at the outset of treatment is whether changing eating patterns will result in weight gain. The answer is…maybe.

For most patients with bulimia nervosa, treatment will not result in a significant change in weight. However, some patients may gain weight and a small percentage of patients will lose weight as a result of eliminating binge eating. It is not advisable for patients in recovery from an eating disorder (or anyone, for that matter) to have a specific goal weight in mind. Focusing on weight loss is incompatible with CBT strategies to eat balanced and sustaining meals at regular intervals. Weight may fluctuate over the course of treatment, and, when a person is eating normally, the body naturally gravitates toward a biologically determined weight that is largely out of our control. Indeed, learning to focus less on body weight as a determinant of achievement or self-worth is a valuable treatment goal.

What is Weight Suppression?

Some patients with bulimia may start treatment at a weight that is in the normal range for their height or even on the high side but low in the context of their adult weight history. Weight suppression is maintaining a body weight that is lower than an individual’s highest adult weight. Recent research has begun to shed light on the effects of weight suppression on eating disorders, especially bulimia. Bulimia is often kick-started with a desire to lose weight and attempt at weight loss through dieting. Research has demonstrated that living at a suppressed weight has a significant impact on bulimic behaviors, increasing the likelihood of binge eating (potentially through a brain-based biobehavioral self-preservation mechanism), and subsequently purging. Relatedly, and counterintuitive to what people with bulimia believe about their ability to control their weight, weight suppression is associated with weight gain over time, which further promotes dieting and purging given the strong aversion to weight gain that most sufferers experience.

Will I Gain Weight?

So, what does this mean for treatment and recovery? For patients seeking treatment, this means that yes, you may gain weight, especially if your weight is lower than a previous higher adult weight. This may feel scary, especially at first. Clinicians may even feel uncomfortable having this discussion and feel tempted to reassure patients that they will not gain weight. However, this message is inconsistent with what we now know about weight suppression and reinforces the idea that gaining weight is to be feared and avoided at all costs. Gaining some weight may actually be the key to breaking the cycle of binging and purging, which is much more valuable than maintaining a lower weight.

Greater weight suppression is associated with persistent bulimia symptoms and relapse, so gaining some weight may actually increase the likelihood of recovery from bulimia and also serve as protection against future eating disorder relapse. Weight gain may not just be a side effect of treatment, but it may be an appropriate treatment goal if you have bulimia and are living at a suppressed weight, just as it is an important goal for someone recovering from anorexia.

In Conclusion

If you have had previous treatment, but are still binging and/or purging, it is important to explore whether weight suppression might be a contributing factor. You can discuss whether gaining some weight might be appropriate with your clinician. Understanding the role of weight suppression on maintenance of the eating disorder should serve as motivation to continue treatment and work toward managing negative feelings related to weight gain. Indeed, it is helpful to explore the motivation behind the importance of thinness or maintaining a certain weight and challenging fears associated with gaining weight. You may find that living at a slightly higher weight, once acceptance is achieved, can be much less stressful and time-consuming than forcing your body to weigh less than it is biologically programmed to.

References

Fairburn, C. G. (2008). Cognitive behavior therapy and eating disorders. New York, NY: Guilford.

Juarascio, A., Lantz, E. L., Muratore, A. F., & Lowe, M. R. (2018). Addressing weight suppression to improve treatment outcome for bulimia nervosa. Cognitive and behavioral practice, 25(3), 391-401.

Lowe, M. R., Piers, A. D., & Benson, L. (2018). Weight suppression in eating disorders: a research and conceptual update. Current psychiatry reports, 20(10), 80.

 

Elisha Carcieri, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist (PSY #26716). Dr. Carcieri earned her bachelors degree in psychology from The University of New Mexico and completed her doctoral degree in clinical psychology at Saint Louis University. During her graduate training, she conducted research focused on eating disorders and obesity and was trained in using cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for eating disorders and other mental health disorders such as anxiety and depression. Dr. Carcieri completed her postdoctoral fellowship at the Long Beach VA Medical Center, where she worked with Veterans coping with mental illness, disability, significant acute or chronic health concerns, and chronic pain. In addition to cognitive behavioral strategies, she is also a proponent of alternative evidence-based approaches such as mindfulness, and acceptance and commitment-based strategies, depending on the needs of each client. Dr. Carcieri has experience working with culturally diverse clients representing various aspects of diversity including race/ethnicity, gender, age, disability, and size. She is currently living in Charleston and working as a full-time mom to her two sons, ages 3 and 1. Dr. Carcieri is a member of the Academy for Eating Disorders (AED). She can be reached via email at dr.elishacarcieri@gmail.com.

A Better Resolution For Exercise

joyful movement
Representation Matters

by Kristen Wright, LMFT

Did you make a New Year’s Resolution to start a new fitness routine? Those “thirty days of push-ups or sit-ups” or “do 15 of this and 12 of that a day to your ideal body in no time,” might sound appealing. But you may have already discovered it’s just another commitment that has left you feeling depleted and disheartened. What if this didn’t have to be a failure but the start of a new experience?

No, you are not lazy, inadequate, or hopeless. There! I said it and I firmly believe it. It is very easy to slip into a cycle of unhelpful thoughts. If you were talking to your friend that way, would your friend listen to you? Of course not! Saying “Get off that couch, you lazy cow” is no way to get it done. I used to think beating myself up would help me work out, and I had no excuse for not exercising. I now know that is not the solution.

Here are some strategies that may be helpful.

Rethink Exercise as Simply Movement

Exercise is often viewed as something unpleasant or punishing or even penance for eating. It shouldn’t be! Movement is much broader. It may be a dance class, a walk on the beach with your partner, a hike with a friend, or shooting hoops with your child. It could be jumping around to good music or playing on the ground with our pets or kids. It might even be just walking back and forth or stretching. Workouts come in many forms and all movement counts. Movement should be fun and have some freedom.

We need to reject the idea that a workout has to be 30 minutes to an hour, requires sweat, requires a shower, and must involve so many sets of different things. What if movement didn’t have to be so structured? If you are still trying to understand why workouts are difficult, it may be because in the past you only exercised when you also dieted. I find that many people with a history of repeated dieting have a very negative association to working out. Reframing it as movement helps with removing that association.

Welcome Those Rest Days

Balance is important. Sometimes rest is more important than exercise. Learn to listen to your body and all its needs. You may have had a bad day at work or you may be dehydrated. Everyone needs days off. When taking care of bodies, we have to take care of our mental health. And sometimes the workouts won’t happen. But instead of thinking of “I missed a day, and everything is ruined,” think instead, “Today I took care of my body by resting.”

Stop the Inner Critic

Become aware of your negative thoughts: “I can’t do this; I am lazy; I am a failure. I am too out of shape.” All of these jumbled thoughts weigh us down. We just can’t expect to operate under these conditions. You should talk to your body as you would talk to a friend. And when you do start being kinder to your body, pay attention to the peace and freedom that will follow. Remember: don’t push yourself to the point of negative self-talk. If the negative inner critic pops up, it is time to evaluate the workout and listen to your body.

Challenge Your Perfectionism

Not all workouts will be better than or even equivalent to the last. Watch and challenge that urge to make each bout of exercise more intense or more successful than the previous one. Try to remove performance measures from your exercise. You do not need metrics to measure the success of your movement. Try focusing instead on how your body feels. As well, after having a great week of workouts you might find that the next workout is barely anything. Don’t despair. Your body might be reacting to fatigue, stress, or just screaming for a break. Remember movement is still movement.

Recognize You are not Obligated to Move

In the words of Christy Harrison, MPH, RD, CDN: “Health isn’t a moral obligation, and you don’t owe *anyone* the pursuit of health. Too much of the wellness world is caught up in healthism, and equating our worth to how much we pursue health goals. But the truth is that your value as a person and as a member of society doesn’t lie in whether or not you value your health.” Now how can this apply to you? Your worth as a person does not correlate to your fitness achievements. You are not a moral failure if you don’t exercise. You are not required to exercise!

In Conclusion

You are the only one who can know what your body needs. Different bodies appreciate different activities. Just because your favorite fitness guru on Instagram says that “this” or “that” will get you in shape, does not mean it is something you must do. You are the leader and guru of your own body. So, let your body tell you what it enjoys. Find the movement that makes your body say “Ahah! That felt good, let’s do this again.” It took me many different workout classes and videotapes to find out what I liked. I had to invest and become the explorer and expert of my own body. Be your body’s best friend and explore what your body likes to do. Please don’t give up on a movement style your body enjoys because it doesn’t look like it is making a difference. Rather spend time enjoying how the movement makes you feel. Do you feel better afterward?

AT EDTLA we can help you improve your relationship with food and exercise.

Curate Your Feed with Diverse Body Positive Accounts on Instagram

Photo, Resilient Fat Goddess Instagram

by Sarah Thompson, Resilient Fat Goddess and Lauren Muhlheim, Eating Disorder Therapy LA

“Body positivity can’t be just about thin, straight, cisgendered, white women who became comfortable with an additional ten pounds on their frame.” —Stacey Rosenfeld, Ph.D., Shape magazine (July, 2018).

Eating disorders are about so much more than body image, but the current diet culture, idealization of the thin ideal, and “war on obesity” make it much harder for people with eating disorders to recover. We are barraged on a daily basis by media images of people who represent only a small portion of the population.

As Dr. Muhlheim discussed in a previous post about fat photography, the mainstream media images we see are not diverse, and the images we do see of larger bodies are often portrayed in a particularly negative and stigmatizing way, adding fuel to the fire.

Thus, an important exercise for people of all sizes in recovery is to curate their social media feed by removing accounts that perpetuate the thin ideal and expand the range of body sizes and types to which one is exposed. Adding diversity to your social media feed isn’t only important for people in recovery, it can be just as important for partners as Sarah Thompson wrote about here. It would even be useful for parents and family members of those recovering.

The term used to describe the absence of representation in media was coined by George Gerbner in 1972. This phenomenon is “symbolic annihilation.” Gerbner was a Hungarian Jewish immigrant and communications professor who researched the influence of television trends on viewers’ perceptions of the world. According to Coleman and Yochim, Gerbner explained that “representation in the fictional world signifies social existence; absence means symbolic annihilation.” Representations, or lack thereof, lead to assumptions about how the world works and who holds power.

Gerbner did not assign symbolic annihilation to any particular group, so it has since been applied to many different identities. We can apply the concept to non-dominant systemic identities, such as larger bodied people, people of color, trans and gender-expansive people, disabled people, etc. If we don’t see bodies like our own represented, we may come to believe “my body doesn’t matter”. Often, this can turn into “I don’t matter”. This means that for people whose bodies are marginalized in any way, it is essential to see images of people that look like them.

We have developed a roundup of Instagram accounts to help you on the journey. While it is not comprehensive, it is a starting point. What follows are some Instagram accounts that show body-positive images that celebrate diverse bodies in ways that mainstream media does not.

At the time of this posting, these accounts are free of body shaming, fat shaming, food shaming, and disordered eating. Some are people in recovery from eating disorders. If we missed one of your favorite accounts that consistently publishes photos of bodies at the margins, please email us and let us know!

Larger-bodied women

@madeonagenerousplan

@iamdaniadriana

@themilitantbaker

@fatgirlflow

@fatwomenofcolor

@cosmiccollette

@bampowlife

@danielle_bex

@fatlippodcast

@shesallfatpod

Larger-bodied men

@bigboysarecute

@johnasavoia

@abearnamedtroy

@chubstr

@bear_skn

@zachmiko

@300poundsandrunning

People of color

@iamivyfelicia

@onebeautifulyes

@thefriendineverwanted

@nalgonapositivitypride

@sonyareneetaylor

@virgietovar

@genizeribeiro

@ihartericka

@diannebondyyoga

@mynameisjessamyn

@biggalyoga

@sassy_latte

@adydelvalle_

@melissadtoler

Gender diverse people

@transfolxfightingeds

@comfyfattravels

@chairbreaker

@thirdwheeled

@alokvmenon

@nonnormativebodyclub

@shooglet

@resilientfatgoddess

@thefatsextherapist

@watchshayslay

Older people

@efftheiragingstandards

@idaho_amy

@lamplight.space

@gidget3304

@glitterglama

@fruitbat5150

@26kleisen

@finally_bopo

People with disabilities

@the_feeding_of_the_fox

@dietitiananna

@theonearmedwonder

@rollettes_la

@disabilityisdiversity

@the_hapless_roller

@spookyfatbabe

@disabled_fashion

@princesscakep0p

@everybodyisworthy

Multiple Identities

@thebodyisnotanapology

@decolonizingfitness

@subversesirens

@fatkiddanceparty

@adipositivity

@underneath_we_are_women

@lkt_consulting

@flourorchalk

Other body positive accounts to follow

@sweetamaranth

@iamannachapman

@nolatrees

@bopolena

@bopo_watercolour

@shoogsart

@shelby.bergen

@neoqlassicalart

@lovefromdanica

@bopo.boy

Source

Coleman and Yochim. The Symbolic Annihilation of Race: A Review of the “Blackness” Literature. Perspectives. Spring 2008. http://www.rcgd.isr.umich.edu/prba/perspectives/spring%202008/Means%20Coleman-Yochim.pdf

Fat Positive Photography

Fat Positive Photography
Representation Matters

I’ve recently returned from the Association for Size Diversity and Health (ASDAH) Conference and I’m reflecting on all I’ve learned. I’ve wanted to share and further explore Substantia Jones’ keynote, “Fat Visibility Through Photography: the Who, the How, and the Hell Yeah.”

Jones is a photographer, a “Fat Acceptance Photo-Activist,” and the proprietor of the Adipositivity Project.  She started Adipositivity in 2007 to “promote the acceptance of benign human size variation and encourage discussion of body politics” by publishing images of women, men, and couples in larger bodies. Substantia is passionate about the fact that fat people don’t see a balanced representation of themselves in the media—as she says, “Humans need visibility. Positive and neutral visibility is being denied to fat people.”

So many of the media images we see of larger-bodied people portray them in negative and stereotyped ways: unkempt, unhappy, eating fast food, and often headless—as if they are ashamed to show their faces. At the same time, the range of body types provided by media images does not really represent most bodies. The media typically culls the thinnest or fittest sliver of the population, and then proceeds to photoshop the images of these bodies.  According to the Body Project, “Only 5% of women have the body type (tall, genetically thin, broad-shouldered, narrow-hipped, long-legged and usually small-breasted) seen in almost all advertising. (When the models have large breasts, they’ve almost always had breast implants.)”

In September 2009, Glamour included a photo of Lizzie Miller, a model who is a size 12-14. The photo showed Lizzie nude and looking joyful while displaying a roll of belly fat. The response was overwhelming—American women were thrilled to see a woman who looked more like them and was happy to boot.

While this was groundbreaking, the average American woman is a size 16. So where are the images of the upper half of the weight spectrum? It should be noted that it is not only larger bodies that are marginalized; other bodies are often not portrayed in mainstream media. These include bodies that are darker-skinned, disabled, aging, and gender diverse.

It is important that people in larger bodies see images of people that look like them. It is also important for all people to broaden their aperture on what people should look like. This includes viewing images of fat people who are happy, sexy, desired, and beautiful and engaging in all the activities that make up a fulfilled life.

Those working in the field of body acceptance confirm the therapeutic value of seeing attractive images of larger-bodied people. Unfortunately, these images can still be hard to find. One must look outside of the mainstream media. With that in mind, I thought it would be useful to provide resources for beautiful, artful photos of people living in larger bodies.

During her keynote, Substantia shared photos from several of her favorite fat-positive photographers, including those that inspired her. Below I list some of the photographers she shared and where to find their photos and information about them.

  • The photography of Patricia Schwarz can be found in Women of Substance – Portrait and Nude Studies of Large Women, published in Japan in 1996 by The Kiyosato Museum of Photographic Arts. Little has been published about her aside from this article, which states that Schwarz, who belonged to the fat liberation community in the 1980s, specialized in full-color photography of fat women. The book features women posing in domestic, natural and urban settings in various stages of clothing and nudity.
  • Laura Aguilar is known for her photographs of people from various marginalized communities (including fat, lesbian, and Latina). She is particularly known for portraying her own nude body as a sculptural element in desert landscapes.
  • Leonard Nimoy (yes, that one) published The Full Body Project, a collection of black-and-white nude photos of members of a burlesque troupe called the Fat-Bottom Revue. According to Nimoy, the purpose of the book was to challenge the harmful beauty ideals promoted by Hollywood.
  • Catherine Oakson was described in an obituary as a creator of “artistic self-portraits—some playful, some sensuous—and messages of body positivity.” Unfortunately, since her death, her photographs are extremely hard to find. Her website, “Cat’s House of Fun,” is only available via web archives (web.archive.org). Search for the website, http://catay.com and look at screen grabs prior to 2017
  • Shoog McDaniel, an artist and photographer living in Florida, was also present at the ASDAH conference, and their art was used in the conference program. Shoog was featured in this article in Teen Vogue which described them as “the photographer pushing the boundaries of queer, fat-positive photography.” Shoog states “the work that I do is about telling the stories of people who are marginalized and not usually put on the forefront, and whose lives are beautiful and important.”

Although Substantia’s presentation did not touch upon it, it’s worth mentioning Representation Matters, the world’s first website providing high-resolution, royalty-free, stock images of diverse bodies for commercial use. (The image in this post is from Representation Matters.) They specifically include larger bodies portrayed in a positive light. These photos are available for purchase.

Unfortunately, diet culture and thin privilege are alive and well, and those in larger bodies remain marginalized and excluded from most mainstream media. I hope you’ll check out these resources and come to appreciate the vast diversity of the human body. I purchased some photography books to share at my office. Together we need to work to challenge the notion that there is a best way to have a body and learn to celebrate the beauty of all bodies.

On a closely related topic, I’m thrilled to see that Meredith Noble has a great list of body positive artists to follow.

Source

Baker, Cindy. 2013. “Aesthetic Priorities and Sociopolitical Concerns: The Fat Female Body in the Photography of Patricia Schwarz and Jennette Williams A Review of Patricia Schwarz: Women of Substance, by Patricia Schwarz, and The Bathers: Photography by Jennette Williams, by Jennette Williams.” Fat Studies 2 (1): 99–102. https://doi.org/10.1080/21604851.2012.709447.

On Buying Bigger Clothes: The Tale of Nana and Her New Shoes

buying bigger clothesbuying bigger clothesRecently, I went to visit my grandmother, who is almost 103 years old.  She was complaining of leg pain. She asked me to help her put on her shoes.  I tried really hard.  But in her sweltering apartment (she can’t stand any temperature below 80), I was sweating and the shoes were not going on.  I had visions of Cinderella’s stepsister needing to cut off her heels to get her feet into her shoes.

Nana has edema—swelling in the lower part of her legs—because she has been sitting in a wheelchair a lot lately.  She is quite fashionable and still loves to get dressed up every day.  But no shoes were fitting.

I had to nearly drag her, but I convinced her to go shoe shopping with me. When we went to the shoe warehouse, we pushed her in her wheelchair but brought along her walker as well.  Nana has always worn a size 7, but we could not fit her into any shoes smaller than an 8.5 or 9!  We tried on one pair of gold shoes —Size 9.  Finally, we were finding some shoes that fit.

Nana loved them.  And she found them comfortable. The woman who had insisted on wheelchairing everywhere, refusing to walk, suddenly started walking with her walker and refused to stop!  She was not taking off those shoes and she was not going to ride in the wheelchair again.  Suddenly, Nana was transformed.  Not only was she comfortable, but she felt stylish.

Why am I telling this story? Often when I am working with patients of any size who have eating disorders, they may have gained weight from a previous lower weight that the eating disorder was an attempt to maintain.  People often experience a sense of failure and surprise when their clothing size goes up a level, just like Nana did. This is no surprise:  our culture overvalues thinness.  But continuing to wear too small clothing is uncomfortable physically and mentally.

People often have a lot of reasons for not shopping for larger clothing —they worry they will be unable to handle the anxiety and sense of failure, and they also don’t want to spend the money on a larger size.  I had to help Nana face this.  She didn’t totally understand why her shoes didn’t fit, she felt disappointed, and she definitely didn’t want to spend any money. But boy, after she got those shoes on, she felt so much better!

My patients tell me the same thing —once they have clothes that fit well and are stylish, they feel more able to face the world, and getting dressed each morning is no longer an occasion for self-deprecation.

Bodies age and change in ways that we can’t control.  We need to accept that.  My advice is always to buy a few things that fit you well and help you to feel great and put the other clothes out of sight for now.

And when I spoke to Nana last week, she let me know how much she was loving her gold shoes and walking more again!

To the Family Member Who Worries I Am Not Helping Your Loved One’s “Weight Problem”

To the family member who worries I am not helping your loved ones "weight problem"
image by Representation Matters

Dear Family Member,

I understand your fears. I get it. You want the best for your loved one. You want him or her to have the best and healthiest and fullest life possible. I do too.

You believe that helping your loved one to lose weight will help achieve these goals. Here, I disagree—I will explain below.

You believe that weight loss will lead to better health. You have heard the scary information about the dangers of obesity and know there is an all-out war on obesity. Or you have seen or heard your loved one ridiculed or judged negatively by peers because they didn’t conform to a certain size.

 

However, did you know that:

I have been working in the field of eating disorders since my training at a bulimia research lab in 1991. When I first learned to treat binge-eating disorder, a course of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for binge eating was expected to be followed by a course of behavioral weight loss. However, since that time we have learned that behavioral weight loss doesn’t work. And while CBT for binge-eating disorder can be successful, it rarely leads to significant weight loss, even among those considered to be in an “overweight” weight category. However, CBT does lead to cessation of binge eating and prevention of further weight gain, which are lofty goals in their own right.

I firmly believe that bodies are meant to come in a variety of shapes and sizes. We are not all meant to be Size 0 or 2 or 4.

Take shoe size: while the average woman today has an 8 shoe size, most do not—some will have size 5 and others will have size 10. Shoe size has a normal distribution within the population.

Just as with shoe size, so it is with body weight. Every body appears to have a set point, a weight at which it functions optimally. This set point is not destined to be at the 50th percentile for every person—some will be heavier and some will lighter. Repeated attempts at dieting seem to increase a body’s setpoint, which is the opposite of what most dieters are trying to achieve.

I no longer support attempts at deliberate weight loss because I have come to believe it is not only fruitless but in fact harmful. Every day in my practice I witness the destruction left by the war on obesity and failed diet attempts. I see the carnage of past dieting, weight regain, shame and self-loathing in the form of disordered eating and intractable eating disorders. Against this backdrop, I believe that above all else, my duty to your family member is to not harm them.

There is no magic solution. Failing to fit the thin mold can be a burden. I wish I could wave a magic wand and have your loved one’s body transform into one that would not be stigmatized, would be celebrated, and would fit into all spaces. But I can’t change your loved one’s genetic body destiny, just as I can’t change any person’s ethnic background or skin color to conform to the privileged group. And I believe the solution is not to change your loved one’s body to conform—the solution is to fight to end weight stigma and the oppression of larger bodies.

Here’s what I can do:

  • I can help your loved one recover from an eating disorder, using evidence-based treatments backed by scientific research.
  • I can help your loved one work on accepting and appreciating their body and all its capabilities.
  • I can help your loved one unfetter themselves from self-imposed rules and restrictions and live a fuller life.
  • I can help your loved unburden themselves from shame and self-loathing.
  • I can help your loved one to advocate for themselves if he or she needs accommodations from a world that was not built to accommodate his or her body.
  • I can help your loved one learn to stand up to weight stigma and bullying.
  • I can help your loved one request and receive respectful health care.
  • I can help your loved one improve their relationship with food so that eating and social situations are enjoyable.
  • I can help your loved one achieve peace.

If you want these things for your loved one, please let me do what I was hired to do—guide your loved one to healthiest, best, and fullest life possible. Please examine the basis of your own hope that your loved one will conform to the thin standard. While I know this comes from a good place, it’s not pointing to the right destination. There are happier places to land. There is much work to be done. We all have weight stigma.

To learn more, I suggest reading the following articles:

Interested in Weight Loss? I CAN’T Help You. Here’s Why

Are We Setting Recovery Weights Too Low?

Is Weight Suppression Driving Your Binge Eating?

How Health at Every Size Can Help With Eating Disorder Recovery

“Normal” Teen Eating

Normal Teen Eating

Parents are often surprised by the high energy needs of teen girls. This is especially true for those faced with restoring a malnourished teen’s weight.

 

But even parents of healthy teens can become confused about what is “normal” in a culture where dieting is pervasive.

 

This is what normal teen eating looked for this 16 year-old teen on one day. She was out of the house, walked about 2 to 3 miles, and got to choose all of her food. This teen is healthy, has good energy, and enjoys food. She is not usually very active. Not every day of eating is the same.

 

  • Breakfast
    • 1 piece of French toast with butter and syrup, a few tablespoons of hash browns
    • 3/4 of a Belgian waffle with whipped cream and syrup
    • 2 pork sausage links
  • Lunch
    • 4 pieces of tuna on crispy rice (could not finish the 5th)
    • An order of salmon sushi
  • Snack
    • 2 scoops of ice cream
  • Dinner
    • 1 fried chicken taco in lettuce with cabbage
    • 1 steak taco in a corn tortilla
    • 1/2 serving of creamed corn
    • Horchata (beverage)
  • Snack
    • A half wedge of blue cheese with crackers

I share this because it may be difficult for parents when teens eat the foods diet culture tells us are bad. Instead, it may be a way of creating a healthy relationship with all food and getting their high energy needs met.

On Living 100 years in Diet Culture

Living 100 years in Diet Culture

I recently went to visit my 102-year-old grandmother. In 1921, at the age of six, Nana emigrated from Russia to Kansas City.

She entertains her living facility with her piano playing and loves to talk all day. She continues to leave sassy messages on my phone. She sends thoughtful gifts to her great grandkids. With such a full life, the following stands out to me.Living 100 years in Diet Culture

 

Always concerned about her shape and weight, at 102 this is still a concern as evidenced by her bathroom in assisted living. Although Nana walks with a walker and now requires some assistance with getting dressed, she still steps on her bathroom scale every day. (How exactly she does this without falling, I don’t know!)

She declared to me, “I weigh x. If I could lose 10 pounds, I’d look younger.”

Two years ago, when she turned 100, I actually did a brief interview with her about dieting. After all, how many 100-year-olds are there who can offer a perspective on dieting in the 1930s and into their centenarian years?

Following is an excerpt from my interview with Nana:

How old were you when you first became concerned about your weight and shape?

At 9 years old people wanted me to start appearing on stage playing the piano. My teacher wanted to speak with my parents and told them he thought I was overweight and should lose some weight. He wanted to groom me for concert piano playing. I remembered how he spoke about my being a little heavy. It didn’t set in right with me. It didn’t bother me. I wasn’t obese, but I was heavy.

When was the first time that you dieted?

On January 2, 1935 (at age 19), I started a strict diet (for me) while at the University of Missouri in Columbia. In 3.5 months I lost 45 pounds. I worked very hard at that. Not only did I have a diet plan, but I also read a great deal. Just before that I also bought a powder that I put in tomato juice and it helped reduce hunger. When I came back to college after Christmas I was told by a friend who was a medical student to stop taking it. He said it was harmful. And then I continued on with the diet plans and that was in 1935. That’s when I really lost the weight. I became ever more popular and I noticed that the weight loss was really helpful.

Do you still worry about your weight?

I’m still concerned about my weight. I watch it very carefully. I get on the scale every single morning because I want to get in the clothes I have. I used to measure myself with a tape measure every day. 

Why do you think it is important to be thin?

I think it’s important. I love my clothes and if I don’t hold my weight to the clothing that I’ve bought, I’d feel very sad so I watch my weight carefully and I am able to get into clothing that I’ve had for years. There are some skirts that I can’t fasten at the waist, but I don’t wear skirts anymore. But weight has always been a very important concern. I don’t think you have to be thin but you have to look good in your clothing and for me, I don’t want to have to buy new clothes.

Nana’s Legacy

It is sad to me that after all these years,  the fear of returning to a bigger size still looms over her. When she eventually passes I doubt many will remember Nana for her shape.

Instead, I expect they will remember her for how friendly and caring she is, how she finds the positive in everything, her desire to make everyone around her happy, the sharp dresser she is, and what a great pianist she is (she makes you FEEL the music).

I know I will always hold dear in my heart her tremendous love for so many people, her years of serving the community as a social worker and volunteer for numerous charitable organizations, her delicious pound cake, her witty jokes (mostly from Readers Digest!), her long stories, her piano playing, and for how she knows (and is loved by) everyone in Kansas City.