Nana’s Poundcake, Food, and Cultural Connection

Nana's PoundcakeFood for us comes from our relatives, whether they have wings or fins or roots. That is how we consider food. Food has a culture. It has a history. It has a story. It has relationships. –– Winona Laduke

Food is about more than sustenance. It is about pleasure and joy and connection. Food is one of the ways we connect with our cultural traditions and our ancestors. This is one of the reasons I am so passionate about my work to help people with eating disorders. When someone has an eating disorder and they are fearful of eating or of eating certain foods, they miss out on the pleasures of food and they miss out on the opportunities to connect with others through food. They also miss out on their own connection with their relatives and their cultural heritage.

In my own family, my 103-year-old Nana has always been known for her piano playing and her delicious poundcake. While her prized Steinway piano now stands in my home, I did not inherit her piano-playing her abilities. I did, however, learn her poundcake recipe.

From the time I was a young girl, I have memories of “Nana’s poundcake.” Simple to make with only 5 ingredients, buttery and yummy. During visits to Kansas City, I looked forward to making it with her. And when she visited us in New York we would make it together. And, occasionally my mom and I would make it without Nana. My kids have had the experience of making poundcake with my Nana, their great grandmother. And they have made it with me. After she eventually passes, we will retain this connection to my Nana and my kids will hopefully continue to make and share her recipe with future generations.

 

 

 

 

 

Photos of my daughters making poundcake with Nana back in 2012 at her apartment (she was 96)

I am glad to have this connection to Nana and to be able to fully enjoy making and eating poundcake with all its rich butter and sugar. What joy and connection I would be missing out on if I were afraid of eating it. To be able to make it and eat it with enjoyment enriches my life and allows me to have a shared experience through four generations of my family. I will always have joyful memories of baking and eating poundcake with the different generations in my family.

Bonus Feature — Nana’s Poundcake Recipe

  • 1/2 pound salted butter (2 sticks) – softened
  • 1 3/4 cup sugar
  • 5 eggs
  • 2 cups sifted flour
  • 2 T vanilla

 

  • Cream butter and sugar
  • Add eggs one at a time while beating constantly
  • Add flour and flavoring
  • Pour into well-greased loaf pan (or bundt pan)
  • Bake at 350° for 90 minutes

Photos from a poundcake I made with my daughter in 2019.

Sweatin’ for the Wedding: Say, “I don’t.”

Sweating for the Wedding? Say: I Don’t.
Image by rawpixel on Pixabay

by Carolyn Hersh, LMFT

In November of 2018, my boyfriend proposed to me. It was one of the most exciting days of my life thus far. With a proposal comes the next exciting chapter: wedding planning. For many brides-to-be, this entails finding that perfect gown.

Sadly, although not surprising, once I got on bridal mailing lists, I learned I was also being targeted by gyms for “Bridal Boot Camps” and “Sweatin’ for the Wedding.” The weight loss industry found yet another way to weasel their way into a life event that should have nothing to do with changing one’s body.

Why is it that you could be with someone who you love for a certain amount of years, and suddenly the moment they place a ring on your finger you need to change your body? Why does looking beautiful equate to weighing less?

Unfortunately, it has become the norm in our culture to experience pressure to lose weight for special events. A friend once shared that when she was dress shopping her consultant actually wrote down smaller measurements because “all brides lose weight.” When my dress consultant mentioned letting her know if I lose weight, my initial thoughts were, “Are you telling me I need to lose weight? Am I supposed to lose weight? What if I like my body where it is? What if I want to gain weight?”

Granted, our bodies can change. But, hearing about weight loss, exercise programs, and diets specific for the big day can be detrimental to our physical and mental health. The diet industry has found another market and doesn’t care how it impacts the people getting married.. Wedding planning can be stressful enough with trying to create a special day without the added pressure to create a “perfect” body.

But, here is the thing. Your fiance asked to marry you not because of what you’ll look like on that one specific day, but because they are in love with you and everything about you. Getting married is about making a commitment of love to one another. Your wedding day should be a celebration of that.

As brides or grooms, we should dress up and present ourselves the way we want to on this day but, it should not be at the expense of our health and well being. Remember what this day is about. Your wedding is not about the celebration of the size of your body but about the love between you and your significant other and making a commitment to one another.

What to do Instead of “Sweatin it”

Here are some tips I have developed to use myself and also with my clients who were wedding dress shopping:

  1. Buy a dress that fits you now. Don’t buy something a size smaller. Don’t use words like “my goal size” or “I’ll be pretty when I fit into this.” Fighting your body to go to a size it isn’t meant to be is only going to add more frustration, stress, and sadness. If the person selling you a dress keeps harping on “when you’ll lose weight” or “all brides lose weight” speak up and tell her that isn’t your plan. You do not have to be a victim of diet culture. Buy the dress that makes you feel pretty right now. Also, do not forget that many dresses you try on are just sample dresses. It’s okay if it doesn’t fit perfectly when you try the dress on. The one you get will be tailored to your already beautiful body,
  2. With that, remind yourself of the things that not only make you look beautiful but what makes you feel beautiful. One of my bridal consultants asked me when picking out a dress, “Do you want to feel whimsical? Do you want to feel like a princess? Do you want to be sexy vixen?” Wedding dress shopping became ten times more fun when I could close my eyes and imagine what style of dress would make me feel the most beautiful.
  3. Write down what you want to feel on your wedding day. Write down your hopes and excitements for this day. Think about what memories you want to hold onto.  While the idea of “looking perfect” in your wedding photos may be a strong drive to engage in diet culture, think about what those photos are truly capturing. Most likely, you’ll want to remember this as a day of celebrating love and new beginnings with your partner.
  4. It’s okay to exercise and it is okay to eat. It’s okay to follow your normal routine, As you plan for your wedding continue to follow your intuitive voice. For many people, weddings take months if not years to plan. Do not remove fun foods out of your diet for the sake of just one day. Listen to your body when it comes to exercise. Exercise because you want to give your body the gift of movement, but know it is okay to take days off too. Exercise should not be a punishment to your body.

In Conclusion

You do not need to lose weight for your wedding day. Ultimately, remember what this day means to you and your partner. Your wedding dress should be the accessory to the already amazing you. You know, the person that your partner wants to spend the rest of his or her life with. So, when it comes to “sweatin’ for the wedding,” say, “I don’t.”

Don’t Diet! 10 Alternative New Year’s Resolutions

Non-diet New Years Resolutions

I am skeptical of New Years Resolutions in general because I think they promote all-or-nothing thinking (I also don’t like to categorize entire years as being bad or good for this reason). I don’t feel that one needs to wait for the year to reset to make changes in one’s life. I  am anti-diet and dread the increased obsession with dieting and weight loss that arrives with each January 1st.

So I thought that this year I would offer some alternatives to weight loss goals as potential resolutions for those who will be making some for 2019.

 

Don’t Diet in 2019: Alternative New Year’s Resolutions

  1. Resolve to learn a new skill. Whether you’ve always wanted to learn to rock climb, play the piano, make dumplings, or cross-stitch, now is the time to do it.
  2. Commit to improving one relationship. Whether it’s getting to know that coworker, spending more time with your spouse, or getting back in touch with that childhood friend, do it in 2018.
  3. Pledge to reject self-denigrating body shaming comments. Those negative body comments, often made between friends, make everyone feel worse. Try to avoid saying things like, “My thighs look fat,” “Does this make me look fat?” “I need to lose weight.”
  4. Commit to not dieting. Focus instead on eating intuitively according to your own taste and hunger and satiety cues. Your amazing body will regulate itself if you let it.
  5. Listen to one body positive podcast. Improving your body image will make you feel better than dieting will. Here are a number of great suggestions.
  6. Spend more time in nature. Research shows that spending time in nature is associated with improved mental health. Go on a monthly hike, plan to visit a national park, or just spend some time outside appreciating your surroundings.
  7. Volunteer! So many organizations are in need of volunteers and there are so many important causes. You can devote your time to helping animals, saving the environment, or improving literacy. Volunteering provides health benefits and can boost self-esteem.
  8. Create something. Paint, draw, needlepoint, collage, write a story or a song. Art is a great way to express your feelings and the act of creating something can boost mood and self-esteem.
  9. Expand your cooking repertoire. Whatever your cooking ability, there is room to grow. Learn a new technique, master a new cuisine, and try some new recipes. Cooking is a great way to improve your appreciation for food and can help with mindful eating.
  10. Make no New Year’s resolution at all. After all, the passage from 2017 to 2018 is just a social construct — it affects neither your self-worth nor any progress in your life.

The gift of food by Dr. Elisha Carcieri

stock photo (not Elisha’s baby)

Two months ago, I experienced one of life’s greatest gifts when my first child was born. Throughout my pregnancy I was mindful of what I was eating and drinking in a way I had never experienced before. Another person was reliant on what I chose to put in my body and I was acutely aware of the need to provide good nutrition to my little one. With this came an overwhelming sense of responsibility that I carried with me throughout my pregnancy.

Almost immediately after he was born, my son needed food. He was naturally driven to nourish himself and I felt so lucky to help him grow and experience this fundamental human need and pleasure…eating. Over the last few months I have responded to him as he communicates his hunger with cries and other cues. I’ve thought more about how this innate drive becomes so complicated as we grow. What starts as a simple relationship becomes clouded with other factors outside of our bodies.

As life goes on, it is often not just hunger that drives us to eat. Social, emotional, and environmental factors work their way into our relationship with food. And unfortunately, as Katie discussed in her recent blog post, so do guilt, judgment, and labels like “good” and “bad.” I think that maintaining an intuitive and forgiving relationship with food is a challenge for most, whether the relationship is officially “disordered” or not. Movements such as health at every size (HAES) and intuitive eating encourage people to begin to move closer to the simpler relationship with food that I’ve observed in my son.

In the case of eating disorders, the process of feeding one’s self moves beyond the complexity of what most of us experience in our daily relationship with food. With a myriad of potential causes and triggers, the eating disorder highjacks the brain and body in more ways than one. Thoughts and perceptions become distorted, hunger cues become erratic or in some cases nonexistent, and levels of key neurotransmitters and hormones are affected. Depression and anxiety commonly run alongside the eating disorder. The result is a serious, sometimes life-threatening illness that couldn’t be further removed from the pure relationship with food we are all born with.

Carrying and feeding my son, and watching him nourish himself so instinctually have been a reminder for me personally to continue to work toward eating intuitively. I am also reminded of how difficult this can be for those of us who are no longer newborns!

It is tragic the way eating disorders attack the fundamental act of nourishing oneself in a healthful, intuitive way, which is why it is so important to continue to fight eating disorders with early identification and treatment. It’s a fight I am privileged to be a part of.