We are excited to announce that via our designation as a practicum site we are now able to train advanced graduate students in psychology in evidence-based treatment for eating disorders. This allows us to further our mission of helping to disseminate evidence-based treatments and to bring them to people in Los Angeles County who need them. We are also able to offer a true low-cost treatment option. Our psychology externs will be able to provide individual psychotherapy for adults with bulimia nervosa and binge eating disorder and teens and adults with disordered eating and body image concerns.
Beginning in August, 2021, the cost for sessions with our psychological externs is $60 per therapy hour. Sessions are available in-person in our office in mid-Wilshire area of Los Angeles and virtually with individuals throughout California.
As of June 2021, EDTLA has developed a memorandum of understanding with two local doctoral programs in clinical psychology— the California School of Professional Psychology at Alliant International University and Pepperdine University’s Clinical Psychology Doctoral Program of the Graduate School of Education and Psychology.
Each year, up to two advanced-level doctoral students are carefully selected through an interview process to be psychological externs at EDTLA. Psychological externs provide individual and group therapy to adults and adolescents.
All of the psychological externs receive extensive training through EDTLA’s training seminars and supervision program in order to provide quality therapy at lower fees than is typically found in Los Angeles.
All Psychological Externs work directly under Dr. Muhlheim (PSY15045), meaning that treatment decisions and progress are monitored on a weekly basis by an experienced licensed psychologist.
To inquire about receiving treatment from one of our psychology externs, please complete this form (and put Psychology Extern) under “Requested Clinician.”
You can read more about our current psychology externs here.
Recovery is challenging! I am repeatedly moved and impressed by the courage of my patients as they work through recovery from an eating disorder. One strategy that can help support recovery is a careful structuring of one’s recovery environment. This applies to adults working individually in treatment as well as to families helping adolescents to recover.
Most evidence-based treatments including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) suggest that patients consider the timing of the start of treatment and potentially postpone it if they anticipate major distractions that will impede recovery. Similarly, it can be helpful when possible to try to minimize challenges.
Recovery looks different for everyone. Some patients are ambivalent about treatment and the changes it will require. Others are eager to be recovered from their eating disorder and just want to get on with life. And many may feel the urge to rush recovery. But I encourage you to “take it slow.”
As a behaviorist, I like to think of recovery as a set of skills that are learned, developed, and practiced in increasingly challenging environments. Whether you are transitioning to an outpatient level of care or beginning treatment as an outpatient or supporting a teen in recovery at home, those first few months should be treated like “Recovery 101.” This is a training phase in which you are first learning and trying out recovery skills. Your abilities will become more fine-tuned as you practice increasingly difficult skills.
In this phase, it is best to be in a highly structured environment without too many complexities. Most people do best with structure. This is why settings housing large numbers of people tend to be highly structured. (I know – I worked in LA County Jail for 10 years.) This is also why higher levels of care with the sickest patients are highly structured. Structure makes things predictable and reduces anxiety.
In a structured setting, it is easier to follow a routine, such as eating at a regular time, having a familiar meal, and facing fewer distractions. Chaotic and unstructured environments are unpredictable, are more challenging for recovery, and require more advanced and flexible recovery skills.
The Challenge of Environment
In Recovery 101, it is often easiest to start by keeping things simple and predictable. Each element that adds complexity or uncertainty to the environment presents an additional challenge to someone with an eating disorder. Novel situations, different foods, different food venues, and different companions can all bring anxiety to those in early recovery. Any deviation from a routine requires additional skills, so handling each of these should be viewed as a new skill to master.
We can think about this as a ladder with each rung adding new difficulty. At the bottom is generally eating meals at home with support from immediate family. The next rungs might include:
Having friends or relatives over for dinner
Eating at a close friend’s house
Eating at a restaurant where individual entrees are served
Eating at a family-style restaurant
Eating at a buffet.
Each higher rung on the ladder requires more decisions and thus more skill. Each skill must be practiced.
Take it Slow
Many patients are tempted to climb the ladder quickly, rushing towards the more complicated and challenging situations. This is not advisable when someone is in Recovery 101. Some challenges are better left until recovery skills are stronger, if at all possible. It is easiest to learn skills first in one place and then to practice them in different settings. It is in this way that skills will generalize.
More advanced challenges that may best wait until the basic skills are mastered will vary from individual to individual, but these can include situations such as:
Weekend schedules when you have slept late (do you count brunch as breakfast or lunch and how do you handle the rest of the meals when your first meal is 3 hours late?)
Cooking for oneself
Going to unfamiliar restaurants
Eating at a small-plates, buffet, or family-style restaurant
Foreign travel to countries where the foods may be entirely unfamiliar
Instead of taking on advanced challenges all at once, consider potential ways to structure the environment during early eating disorder recovery:
Having meals planned out for the entire week
Eating meals at regular times
Regular grocery shopping
Having a backup plan (in case you run late or a plan changes)
Always carrying snacks (and backup snacks)
Planning alternative activities for high-risk times (for many patients that is evenings spent at home. For one patient, that meant going out on evenings her husband would not be home for dinner.)
Limiting meals at unfamiliar restaurants
Only bringing into the home small quantities of foods on which you have binged
Having a support person you can call
Structured schedules for every day of the week, including weekends
Careful planning ahead (with your team if you have one) for any situation you have not yet practiced
Keep in mind that you may experience setbacks. Sometimes you have to go back down the ladder before going back up again. This is a normal part of recovery.
When recovery is further along, you will be better able to handle more complex and challenging situations. Flexibility will come, but for now, keep it simple.
In a previous post, I have discussed who is typically on an FBT team. In its traditional manualized form, the core team is a therapist, a medical doctor, and the parents. The team can also include a registered dietitian nutritionist (to guide the parents) and may include a psychiatrist.
It is not uncommon for medical providers unfamiliar with FBT and treatment centers to encourage additional individual therapy for the patient. As I have said previously, this is not always advisable. In FBT, less can be more—the work of the parents may be undermined by an individual therapist who either does not believe in or does not support FBT.
So, I thought it would be useful to describe in greater detail the situations in which I think additional therapies are warranted and which therapies are most aligned with FBT.
FBT is primarily a behavioral treatment, administered by parents. The two therapies I discuss below—Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Exposure and Response Prevention—are also behavioral treatments that can be applied consistently alongside FBT without confusion. By contrast, non-behaviorally-based therapies may create splitting or confusion when offered alongside FBT. In particular, you should be cautious about and avoid therapies that do not reinforce the parents’ authority over eating or introduce different theories about the cause of an eating disorder.
Comprehensive Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is a form of cognitive-behavioral treatment (CBT) developed in the 1980s by Marsha Linehan, Ph.D. It was developed to treat chronically suicidal individuals diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and is now considered the most effective treatment for this population. Research has demonstrated its effectiveness for a range of other mental disorders including substance dependence, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and eating disorders.
DBT stands out as the treatment of choice for people with difficulty regulating emotions—those prone to outbursts of anger and impulsive behaviors such as self-harm and purging. It focuses on the teaching of skills to tolerate emotions and improve relationships.
Be aware that there are many therapists (including us!) who use DBT skills in individual therapy with clients. Some therapists also may offer a standalone DBT skills training group. However, while these individual elements of DBT treatment may be beneficial, comprehensive DBT has a powerful advantage.
For DBT to by comprehensive it must comprise the following components:
DBT skills training. This almost always occurs in a group format run like a class. Group leaders teach behavioral skills and assign homework. Groups meet weekly for 24 weeks to complete the curriculum. Skills training consists of four modules: Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Interpersonal Effectiveness, and Emotion Regulation.
Individual therapy. Weekly sessions run concurrently with the skills training. The individual therapist helps clients apply the DBT skills.
Phone coaching. Clients are encouraged to reach out to their individual therapists to receive in-the-moment support applying skills during times of need.
DBT Consultation Team to Support the Therapist. All the members of the DBT team (group therapists and individual therapists) support each other in managing these clients who are in high distress.
When a teen is in comprehensive DBT, there is usually a parallel track for the parents that includes a parent skills group and a parent phone coach so that the parents receive help supporting their teen who is learning to apply DBT skills.
Exposure and Response Prevention
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) refers to specific CBT strategies used to address obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) or similar symptoms. OCD is characterized by distressing and intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors in which a person engages to try to reduce the distress. In ERP, the patient is exposed to the distressing situation and encouraged to prevent their compulsive behavior so they can learn to tolerate the distress. Once a person feels capable of handling their distress they will no longer need to engage in the compulsive behavior.
OCD and eating disorders commonly co-occur, and eating disorders can result in compulsive behaviors that require additional attention, such as compulsive exercise or other rituals not related to eating. Patients with eating disorders who engage in these behaviors may benefit from the addition of ERP.
A difficult concept in recovery is knowing when to let go of an activity or even a job that could potentially re-ignite the eating disorder. As a therapist I find myself guiding my clients towards the realization that the sport or career path they had loved so much might be the very thing that holds them back and sets them back up for relapse. It isn’t always an easy decision.
Letting go of something that may have predated the eating disorder can lead to questions as to why it cannot remain in someone’s life in recovery. Many clients in the early stages of eating disorder treatment have to face the fact that they have to stop their sports if they are trying to regain weight or are working on eliminating behaviors that could leave the body physically weak. It is no surprise that once stabilization begins there is an urge to return to previously enjoyed activities. However, returning to these activities could potentially hinder full recovery.
Sports like gymnastics, running, figure skating, wrestling, and dancing are incredibly wonderful. As a figure skater myself, I can attest there is no greater feeling than gliding over the ice. But these same sports, especially at the elite level, can be incredibly demanding on the body. Behaviors required for full recovery can go against what a coach may be preaching to athletes to be in top physical form. What is expected of top athletes could look like disordered eating and poor body mentality from an outside perspective. The eating disorder itself may take what is used to condition a top athlete and manipulate it for its own gain.
It can be difficult to find the balance between a recovered mindset and meeting the demands of a sport or career. With some of my clients in the entertainment industry, there are pressures to look a certain way and fit a mold that their bodies may not be meant to fit. It can be difficult to navigate knowing they need to eat a certain amount of times a day and then have an agent say, “Lose five pounds for this role.”
The hardest decision is when there is a realization that staying in either the sport or career is just too detrimental to your health. It is certainly not easy to walk away from something you’ve put work into. And that can also be said about your recovery. Are you willing to give up a healthy body and mind for a potential chance at a gold medal or lucrative career even if it means killing yourself along the way? I’ve worked with a client who was a dancer who recognized as she was going through treatment that going back into a dance studio would be too triggering. She knew that staring at herself in a mirror and comparing herself to her classmates would lead to restricting her meals. It wasn’t an easy decision to walk away, but she knew there was no way she was in a place to be able to dance without being triggered.
In some circumstances, you may not have to completely quit your previous passion. You might be able to approach the activity differently. You may not be able to return to a sport as an elite athlete, but you could still engage in the activity at a more recreational level. I’ve seen some of my clients shift from being an athlete to being a coach. Actors going from television and movies to doing local theater. Sometimes you can still do what you love but it just needs to be re-configured to fit into your recovery lifestyle. For many, it can be comforting to know they can still act or model or run, but just do it less intensively.
You may also have the option of challenging what a sport or career emphasizes as far as body image and diet pressures. There are many models and actors who are embracing bigger bodies and not letting the pressures to lose weight define them. With this option, there is a risk of rejection along the way as we do still live in a culture that overvalues thinness. With that being said, this may be a safe option primarily for those who feel stable in recovery and are able to actively use coping skills to fight urges. If your recovery has reached a place of advocacy this definitely could be a path to take.
Leaving a passion behind or re-defining how it fits into your life can be a huge change. You may feel sad or mad. That’s okay. Ultimately, the decision you make will be the one that supports you in your recovery. If staying in the activity is going to trigger calorie counting, weekly weigh-ins or criticism for not looking a certain way, is it worth it? If you know where the eating disorder thrives then why play with fire? Ultimately, the decision will be based on what will make you healthy and happy and not allow you to compromise with the eating disorder.
One of the cardinal rules of dieting is “Eat only when you’re hungry.” I often find that the fear of eating when not hungry is one of the most difficult bits of dogma to overcome. People with eating disorders and good dieters everywhere have been taught that this is all that stands in the way between us and complete loss of control and utter disaster in our lives. Many don’t even see it as an actual choice or symptom of the eating disorder.
Successful recovery from an eating disorder or disordered eating or chronic dieting requires overcoming and challenging this rule.
Just off the top of my head, I can think of a lot of reasons to eat when not hungry. Here are a few related to disordered eating:
You have overridden your hunger cues for years from cycles of dieting, bingeing and purging. You don’t recognize normal hunger cues or satiety. Your treatment team has told you to eat regularly—three meals and two to three snacks per day. You feel like it is too much food and you’re not hungry. Should you follow their meal plan? Yes! Eating regularly is a crucial step in recovering from any eating disorder and it helps to regulate your hormones and circadian rhythms so you can regain your hunger and satiety cues and become a more intuitive eater.
You are in recovery from a restrictive eating disorder and rarely feel hunger. You are told you need to eat more, but you don’t believe it. Isn’t it better to delay eating until later in the day? Should you really eat breakfast and lunch at the times scheduled by your dietitian? Yes, absolutely! Regular meals are critical to getting all of your body functions to work properly again. One of the reasons you may not be feeling adequate hunger could be delayed gastric emptying, which occurs when someone is undereating and food remains in the stomach far longer than it should. One of the consequences is low appetite. The solution: eat regularly as prescribed, even if you’re not hungry.
I can think of many more situations that apply to all of us, not just those with eating disorders:
You normally eat dinner at 7 pm and your circadian rhythm is conditioned to get hungry then. But your sister has scheduled a family dinner at 5:30 to accommodate her children so they won’t be cranky at the table. Should you eat at 5:30 before you are hungry? Absolutely! Adjusting our schedules allows us to have meaningful social interactions that typically revolve around eating.
You have a meeting that is scheduled from 12 to 3 pm. You’re not hungry at 11 am; breakfast was only at 8:30. You have the option to have a proper lunch at 11:30. Should you? Of course! Be practical—it’s better to eat before your meeting. Then you’ll be properly fueled and will be better able to concentrate during the meeting. Our brains don’t function as well when they’re low on glucose. Planning ahead and adjusting mealtimes accordingly is an important act of self-care.
You are traveling to another country. You arrive at your destination and it’s dinnertime. Your circadian rhythms are all thrown off. You feel like you’ve been eating constantly. Should you eat? Yes! Acclimation to a new time zone is ushered along by institution of regular eating at the times appropriate to the destination. You will adjust faster if you get your body in synch.
You just had a rough breakup. You’re eating meals, but sad. Your friends show up and want to take you out for ice cream to cheer you up. You’re not hungry. Should you go and eat ice cream with your friends? Absolutely! Food is not solely about nutrition – it’s also about bonding and comfort, and you should let the ice cream and your friends soothe your broken heart.
You’re stressed and preparing for a presentation tomorrow. You’ve eaten adequately throughout the day and are not truly hungry. But you know that crunching on some popcorn will soothe your nerves. This is an old behavior that you’ve overused in the past. Contrary to popular belief, emotional eating is not itself a problem. Food is our earliest comfort and humans are designed to find food to be rewarding. If it were not, we would have died out as a species. There is no shame in using food as comfort—what can be problematic is if there are no other tools in your emotional toolkit. If eating is your only coping skill then I encourage you to learn some other strategies for managing negative emotions to give you a broader range of alternatives.
So, not eating when you’re not hungry is a rule that should be confronted. How can you start to challenge this rule and, if you have one, the eating disorder that uses it as an excuse?
You must face it head-on with new behaviors, deliberately defying it. If you have been instructed to follow a meal plan: follow it. If you have been told you are undereating: practice eating one thing per day when you are not hungry. The next time you have something in your schedule that interferes with a normal meal time: eat beforehand. Accept invitations to eat at times to which you are unaccustomed. Eat something spontaneously when it shows up, even if you are not hungry.
By practicing these behaviors, you will become less fearful of eating when not hungry. You will learn that this, too, is a normal part of being a human. You will be more relaxed around food and you will see that nothing horrible happens if you eat when you’re not hungry. You do not have to continue to be a victim of diet culture.
Family-based treatment (FBT) is the leading evidence-based treatment for teens with anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa. While in an ideal world, every person with an eating disorder would have access to a full treatment team including a therapist, a dietitian, a medical doctor, and a psychiatrist, FBT calls only for a therapist to guide the parents and a medical doctor to manage medical needs. A dietitian is not required, but I have found that a dietitian who works primarily with the parents can provide valuable guidance. Sometimes there are other treatment providers. If there are multiple providers, it is important that team members are in agreement about treatment philosophy and goals. Otherwise, a nonaligned team can potentially be detrimental.
Overview of FBT (3 phases)
Family-based treatment is a manualized therapy, presented in a “manual” with a series of prescribed goals and techniques to be used during each phase of treatment. It focuses on empowering the parents to play a central role in their child’s recovery, using contingencies to reverse malnutrition, increase weight, and eliminate symptoms including restrictive eating, bingeing, purging, and overexercise. FBT is based on five principles:
Agnostic view of illness—there is no need to find a cause or underlying issue that caused the illness.
Initial symptom focus—the focus is on reversing malnutrition and eliminating other eating disorder behaviors.
Family responsible for refeeding/addressing behaviors—parents are empowered to take charge of all meals—including planning, cooking, serving, and supervision—to ensure they are consumed as well as preventing other behaviors such as bingeing and purging.
Non-authoritarian stance—the therapist is a guide and partner that empowers parents to help their child.
Externalization of illness—the illness is seen as an external force that is threatening the child’s life.
FBT consists of three phases:
Phase 1: Parents are fully in charge of and supervise all meals until behaviors have largely ceased and weight is nearly restored.
Phase 2: Once behaviors are largely eliminated, weight is nearly fully restored, and meals are going smoothly, parents gradually hand back some control of eating to the adolescent in an age-appropriate manner.
Phase 3: Once the adolescent has resumed age-appropriate independence over their own eating, the focus of therapy turns to other adolescent development issues, any remaining comorbid problems, and relapse prevention.
When to Add Other Providers
Many parents are incredulous that family-based treatment is a standalone treatment. It is primarily a behavioral treatment focused initially on a brain rescue and then on eliminating symptoms. Medical providers unfamiliar with FBT and treatment centers that insist on having complete teams may pressure families to add an individual therapist for the patient with the eating disorder to the team. This is not always advisable. Sometimes, in FBT, less is more; the work of the parents can be undermined by an individual therapist who either does not believe in or support FBT. Additionally, research shows that at least in the case of bulimia nervosa, no additional therapy may be needed: issues with depression and self-esteem resolved during FBT treatment.
In one case series of families with “failed FBT” several families pivoted to individual therapy and the teens later admitted that “they had asked for individual treatment as a deliberate strategy to exclude their parents because they knew it would mean that there would be less pressure for weight gain and more chances of avoiding stress and conflicts around the challenges related to their eating behavior.” This should serve as a caution against adding an individual therapist reflexively just because the teen is asking for it.
For families that want to work with a dietician who is familiar with FBT, my colleague, Katie Grubiak, RDN, and I have worked out the following successful protocol. In Phase 1 of FBT, the dietitian is only included when needed and only meets with the parents. This helps to empower the parents and prevents the dietitian from inadvertently colluding with the eating disorder. When a dietitian meets the teen too soon, we have found that the eating disorder tries to ally with the dietitian and the teen spends the time trying to negotiate for preferred “eating disorder foods.” We find it more effective to avoid giving the eating disorder that voice. Parents—who have after all been feeding their child since birth—know what their teen truly likes and can avoid being manipulated by the eating disorder.
The situations in which I have found the dietitian to be necessary include the following:
The adolescent has another issue that necessitates dietary restriction such as celiac disease, diabetes, or a food allergy.
The teen’s eating has been extremely restrictive and the range of foods at the outset is extremely small
There is concern about medical issues such as refeeding syndrome and intake must be more closely measured
There is a history of an eating disorder in a parent and they feel insecure about challenging their child’s eating
The parents are highly anxious and unusually overwhelmed and benefit from greater support and direction from a dietitian.
Towards the end of Phase 2, I find it very valuable to have the dietitian begin meeting individually with the teen. This can be helpful in trying to increase the teen’s responsibility for their own recovery. The dietitian can also bridge the gap between the parents being in charge and the child being in charge by temporarily overseeing the child as the parents relax control. We have found it very beneficial for the dietitian to help the adolescent work on determining portion sizes and exposure to fear foods and eating in different contexts and to have some initial meals without the parent and see how they do.
Resources are limited: families have limited finances and there are not enough eating disorder providers to meet the demand of people with eating disorders. I believe that in most cases we should wait until Phase 2 of FBT before adding additional therapies. In this way, we can see what issues resolve on their own when weight is restored. After a teen has resumed regular eating and has nutrition sufficient to support higher level brain functioning, individual therapy can be added if it is needed. This is the point in therapy at which the adolescent is likely to be more receptive and able to benefit from individual therapy.
Having worked alongside several individual therapists providing individual therapy while I provided FBT, I have some suggestions that can help keep all providers on the same page and maximize benefits to the family. The most common scenarios I have encountered include the following:
Adolescent therapist addressing comorbid anxiety, depression, self-esteem, or interpersonal issues
The biggest problems I have encountered occur when individual therapists focus on coaching the adolescent to individuate and stand up to parents. This is inconsistent with the early stage of FBT, which requires the parents to be empowered to make all food decisions for an adolescent who is incapable of making reasonable decisions about food given their brain starvation. In FBT we don’t encourage independence in eating until the teen shows they can handle it. Similarly problematic are providers who educate the adolescent about his parents being too “enmeshed.”
On the other hand, I have had great experiences with individual therapists who understood that keeping the parents in charge of eating was crucial for the teen’s recovery. Instead, these therapists worked to empower the parents to help the teen eliminate other obsessive behaviors such as compulsive exercise. I have also worked with successful DBT teams that focused on teaching the adolescent skills to manage their distress while not attempting to question or undermine the parents’ authority over food decisions.
Advice for The Individual Therapist
My advice for the individual therapist:
Don’t blame parents for causing ED
Don’t disempower the parents
Don’t question parents being in charge of food
Don’t suggest compromising on food choices
Don’t describe parents as enmeshed—instead, reinforce their instincts in attending to a very ill child
Don’t focus on empowering the adolescent to share frustrations about parents being in charge
Do focus on empowering the adolescent to demonstrate recovery behaviors even if it is for show (“acting as if”)
Help the adolescent to develop coping skills to use when the FBT process is upsetting to them
Respect parents’ choice to stop activities until they eat (delineate consequences before meals)
Help the adolescent fill their life with other things
Remind the adolescent that the parents will be able to give back control as the adolescent demonstrates readiness
Let the adolescent vent about their frustration over parents being in charge
Acknowledge that although there are many things the teen can do on their own that are developmentally appropriate, at the present time eating independently is not one of them
In November of 2018, my boyfriend proposed to me. It was one of the most exciting days of my life thus far. With a proposal comes the next exciting chapter: wedding planning. For many brides-to-be, this entails finding that perfect gown.
Sadly, although not surprising, once I got on bridal mailing lists, I learned I was also being targeted by gyms for “Bridal Boot Camps” and “Sweatin’ for the Wedding.” The weight loss industry found yet another way to weasel their way into a life event that should have nothing to do with changing one’s body.
Why is it that you could be with someone who you love for a certain amount of years, and suddenly the moment they place a ring on your finger you need to change your body? Why does looking beautiful equate to weighing less?
Unfortunately, it has become the norm in our culture to experience pressure to lose weight for special events. A friend once shared that when she was dress shopping her consultant actually wrote down smaller measurements because “all brides lose weight.” When my dress consultant mentioned letting her know if I lose weight, my initial thoughts were, “Are you telling me I need to lose weight? Am I supposed to lose weight? What if I like my body where it is? What if I want to gain weight?”
Granted, our bodies can change. But, hearing about weight loss, exercise programs, and diets specific for the big day can be detrimental to our physical and mental health. The diet industry has found another market and doesn’t care how it impacts the people getting married.. Wedding planning can be stressful enough with trying to create a special day without the added pressure to create a “perfect” body.
But, here is the thing. Your fiance asked to marry you not because of what you’ll look like on that one specific day, but because they are in love with you and everything about you. Getting married is about making a commitment of love to one another. Your wedding day should be a celebration of that.
As brides or grooms, we should dress up and present ourselves the way we want to on this day but, it should not be at the expense of our health and well being. Remember what this day is about. Your wedding is not about the celebration of the size of your body but about the love between you and your significant other and making a commitment to one another.
What to do Instead of “Sweatin it”
Here are some tips I have developed to use myself and also with my clients who were wedding dress shopping:
Buy a dress that fits you now. Don’t buy something a size smaller. Don’t use words like “my goal size” or “I’ll be pretty when I fit into this.” Fighting your body to go to a size it isn’t meant to be is only going to add more frustration, stress, and sadness. If the person selling you a dress keeps harping on “when you’ll lose weight” or “all brides lose weight” speak up and tell her that isn’t your plan. You do not have to be a victim of diet culture. Buy the dress that makes you feel pretty right now. Also, do not forget that many dresses you try on are just sample dresses. It’s okay if it doesn’t fit perfectly when you try the dress on. The one you get will be tailored to your already beautiful body,
With that, remind yourself of the things that not only make you look beautiful but what makes you feel beautiful. One of my bridal consultants asked me when picking out a dress, “Do you want to feel whimsical? Do you want to feel like a princess? Do you want to be sexy vixen?” Wedding dress shopping became ten times more fun when I could close my eyes and imagine what style of dress would make me feel the most beautiful.
Write down what you want to feel on your wedding day. Write down your hopes and excitements for this day. Think about what memories you want to hold onto. While the idea of “looking perfect” in your wedding photos may be a strong drive to engage in diet culture, think about what those photos are truly capturing. Most likely, you’ll want to remember this as a day of celebrating love and new beginnings with your partner.
It’s okay to exercise and it is okay to eat. It’s okay to follow your normal routine, As you plan for your wedding continue to follow your intuitive voice. For many people, weddings take months if not years to plan. Do not remove fun foods out of your diet for the sake of just one day. Listen to your body when it comes to exercise. Exercise because you want to give your body the gift of movement, but know it is okay to take days off too. Exercise should not be a punishment to your body.
You do not need to lose weight for your wedding day. Ultimately, remember what this day means to you and your partner. Your wedding dress should be the accessory to the already amazing you. You know, the person that your partner wants to spend the rest of his or her life with. So, when it comes to “sweatin’ for the wedding,” say, “I don’t.”
One of the hallmark features of eating disorders is placing a high value on body weight and shape in determining one’s self-worth. In addition, people with eating disorders often believe that body shape and weight can be controlled through diet, exercise, or, in the case of bulimia nervosa, purging. Individuals with bulimia nervosa purge in an attempt to eliminate calories consumed (which is actually ineffective), empty or flatten the stomach, modulate mood, or as a self-imposed negative consequence for binging. Bulimia carries serious mental and medical health risks. The road to recovery from bulimia usually involves (at least) outpatient therapy with a qualified mental health professional such as a psychologist.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is the most well-researched and effective treatment for bulimia. Therapy begins with an initial goal to immediately stop purging, monitoring weight and food intake and implementing regular eating, which usually looks like three meals and two snacks spread out over the course of the day. Over the course of therapy, the patient and therapist address the various factors that keep the eating disorder going including the over-evaluation of weight, shape, and one’s ability to control these factors, dietary restraint and restricting food intake, and mood and anxiety-related factors associated with the eating problem.
Most patients with bulimia nervosa present to treatment at a weight that is in a “normal” range for their height. This is in contrast to those with anorexia nervosa, who are typically underweight. Despite being at a normal weight, the characteristic weight and body dissatisfaction associated with bulimia is strong at the beginning of treatment, and patients believe that they are controlling their weight via their purging behaviors. People with bulimia often restrict food intake in various ways, only to eventually binge and purge. Because treatment involves eating meals at regular intervals without purging, a common fear at the outset of treatment is whether changing eating patterns will result in weight gain. The answer is…maybe.
For most patients with bulimia nervosa, treatment will not result in a significant change in weight. However, some patients may gain weight and a small percentage of patients will lose weight as a result of eliminating binge eating. It is not advisable for patients in recovery from an eating disorder (or anyone, for that matter) to have a specific goal weight in mind. Focusing on weight loss is incompatible with CBT strategies to eat balanced and sustaining meals at regular intervals. Weight may fluctuate over the course of treatment, and, when a person is eating normally, the body naturally gravitates toward a biologically determined weight that is largely out of our control. Indeed, learning to focus less on body weight as a determinant of achievement or self-worth is a valuable treatment goal.
What is Weight Suppression?
Some patients with bulimia may start treatment at a weight that is in the normal range for their height or even on the high side but low in the context of their adult weight history. Weight suppression is maintaining a body weight that is lower than an individual’s highest adult weight. Recent research has begun to shed light on the effects of weight suppression on eating disorders, especially bulimia. Bulimia is often kick-started with a desire to lose weight and attempt at weight loss through dieting. Research has demonstrated that living at a suppressed weight has a significant impact on bulimic behaviors, increasing the likelihood of binge eating (potentially through a brain-based biobehavioral self-preservation mechanism), and subsequently purging. Relatedly, and counterintuitive to what people with bulimia believe about their ability to control their weight, weight suppression is associated with weight gain over time, which further promotes dieting and purging given the strong aversion to weight gain that most sufferers experience.
Will I Gain Weight?
So, what does this mean for treatment and recovery? For patients seeking treatment, this means that yes, you may gain weight, especially if your weight is lower than a previous higher adult weight. This may feel scary, especially at first. Clinicians may even feel uncomfortable having this discussion and feel tempted to reassure patients that they will not gain weight. However, this message is inconsistent with what we now know about weight suppression and reinforces the idea that gaining weight is to be feared and avoided at all costs. Gaining some weight may actually be the key to breaking the cycle of binging and purging, which is much more valuable than maintaining a lower weight.
Greater weight suppression is associated with persistent bulimia symptoms and relapse, so gaining some weight may actually increase the likelihood of recovery from bulimia and also serve as protection against future eating disorder relapse. Weight gain may not just be a side effect of treatment, but it may be an appropriate treatment goal if you have bulimia and are living at a suppressed weight, just as it is an important goal for someone recovering from anorexia.
If you have had previous treatment, but are still binging and/or purging, it is important to explore whether weight suppression might be a contributing factor. You can discuss whether gaining some weight might be appropriate with your clinician. Understanding the role of weight suppression on maintenance of the eating disorder should serve as motivation to continue treatment and work toward managing negative feelings related to weight gain. Indeed, it is helpful to explore the motivation behind the importance of thinness or maintaining a certain weight and challenging fears associated with gaining weight. You may find that living at a slightly higher weight, once acceptance is achieved, can be much less stressful and time-consuming than forcing your body to weigh less than it is biologically programmed to.
Fairburn, C. G. (2008). Cognitive behavior therapy and eating disorders. New York, NY: Guilford.
Juarascio, A., Lantz, E. L., Muratore, A. F., & Lowe, M. R. (2018). Addressing weight suppression to improve treatment outcome for bulimia nervosa. Cognitive and behavioral practice, 25(3), 391-401.
Lowe, M. R., Piers, A. D., & Benson, L. (2018). Weight suppression in eating disorders: a research and conceptual update. Current psychiatry reports, 20(10), 80.
Elisha Carcieri, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist (PSY #26716). Dr. Carcieri earned her bachelors degree in psychology from The University of New Mexico and completed her doctoral degree in clinical psychology at Saint Louis University. During her graduate training, she conducted research focused on eating disorders and obesity and was trained in using cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for eating disorders and other mental health disorders such as anxiety and depression. Dr. Carcieri completed her postdoctoral fellowship at the Long Beach VA Medical Center, where she worked with Veterans coping with mental illness, disability, significant acute or chronic health concerns, and chronic pain. In addition to cognitive behavioral strategies, she is also a proponent of alternative evidence-based approaches such as mindfulness, and acceptance and commitment-based strategies, depending on the needs of each client. Dr. Carcieri has experience working with culturally diverse clients representing various aspects of diversity including race/ethnicity, gender, age, disability, and size. She is currently living in Charleston and working as a full-time mom to her two sons, ages 3 and 1. Dr. Carcieri is a member of the Academy for Eating Disorders (AED). She can be reached via email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
When new families talk to me about Family-Based Treatment (FBT), I often find that they are confused about what it is and what it isn’t.
FBT is a type of evidence-based treatment for adolescent eating disorders. This treatment was developed at the Maudsley Hospital in London in the 1970s and 1980s; Doctors Lock and Le Grange manualized it into its current form in 2001. Because of its name, FBT is often confused with more general “family therapy.” Be careful, because these are not the same thing—while both involve the family, FBT is a very specific, behaviorally-focused therapy.
While a treatment that includes some elements of FBT—but falls short of the full manualized treatment—may work for some eating disorder cases, it may not work for more difficult cases. When FBT doesn’t work it is important to know whether the child has had an adequate course of the true treatment in its evidence-based form. This can be tricky—in the field of psychotherapy, most therapists identify as eclectic, meaning they adhere to no single therapeutic orientation but combine techniques from several (just scroll through any Psychology Today therapist profile to get a taste for how many different theoretical approaches most therapists endorse). We don’t yet know which elements of FBT are critical to its efficacy and make it such a successful treatment. This would take expensive dismantling studies in which different partial treatments are tested against each other. Except for studies documenting a separated FBT (where only the parents attend sessions), no such study has been cited in the literature. Until we have good evidence that suggests otherwise, treatments that stay true to the original, already-tested treatments are the safest bet.
I once worked with a patient with panic disorder who had had previous treatment. He told me that his previous therapist had conducted cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), widely accepted as the best evidence-based treatment for panic disorder. When I dug deeper, I found that his therapy had included no exposure to the sensations of panic—considered to be the core element of CBT treatment for panic disorder. Instead, the treatment had focused on discussing his anxiety thoughts—a very different protocol. From this experience I learned to inquire carefully about the treatment my patients have previously received before accepting that it cannot work for them.
So it is with Family-Based Treatment. Sometimes parents tell me that they think they tried FBT but are not sure. If your child was treated in an academic center, it’s more likely they got the evidence-based treatment of FBT in its full form. However, some parents who tell me that FBT didn’t work also tell me:
They did FBT on their own, with no therapeutic support
They had meals with their child, but that the therapist met primarily with the adolescent alone
They didn’t supervise all meals because their child resisted it.
In each of these situations, it is obvious to me that the treatment is not what I would consider FBT. And while it is true that including some aspects of FBT or even a “watered down” FBT may be better than no FBT or parent inclusion at all, it’s important to know whether your child had the real thing or not, especially if they end up needing more or different treatment.
Often, parents who tell me they struggled with renourishing a child on their own find that things go much better once they started working with me or another therapist. That’s not to say that parents should never try to renourish a teen on their own—just that supporting a child with an eating disorder is extremely hard work and best done with the support and guidance of a professional at their side.
Signs Your Child Received FBT
Accordingly, I created the checklist below for parents to determine whether the treatment their child received (or is receiving) is really FBT. To how many of the following statements can you answer “YES” (the more the better)?
My therapist refers to and acknowledges the three phases of FBT:
Phase 1 —full parental control
Phase 2 — a gradual return of control to the teen
Phase 3 —establishing healthy independence
My therapist is familiar with the work of Drs. James Lock and Daniel Le Grange, developers of the FBT treatment.
My therapist adheres to the five principles of FBT:
I was specifically told I was responsible for restoring my teen nutritionally and interrupting behaviors that interfere with recovery (including bingeing, purging, and overexercise). I was specifically told I was responsible for planning, preparing, serving, and supervising all meals.
I was told we don’t know for sure what causes an eating disorder and it doesn’t matter.
Initial attention of treatment focused solely on restoring health including weight gain and stopping eating disorder behaviors.
Rather than being given prescriptive tasks, I was empowered to play an active role and to discover those strategies that worked best for my family and the child whom I know best.
I was taught to externalize the illness and see it as an outside force that has hijacked my child, threatens his or her life, and makes my child do things he or she wouldn’t normally do. My child did not choose the eating disorder.
My therapist spends most of the time with the full family, meeting only briefly with the adolescent alone at the beginning of the session (or in the case of “separated FBT,” all of the time with parents).
My therapist or another member of the treatment team tracks my child’s weight and gives me feedback after every weigh-in on how he or she is doing.
I was specifically told I am responsible for supervising all meals and snacks to ensure completion. If purging has been a problem, I was told to supervise the child after eating to prevent purging.
If my child has been exercising excessively, I was told to prevent this.
After weight was restored and bingeing and purging and other behaviors had ceased, my therapist guided me in gradually returning my teen control over their own eating.
I was told it was important to be direct with my teen about eating adequate amounts of food.
My therapist discusses the importance of both “state” and weight to recovery—meaning my therapist explains that weight recovery is a step towards psychological recovery, but not an end goal in itself.
Dead giveaways your child did not get FBT
Below are some indicators that your child might not have “gotten FBT” and might be receiving some conflicting messages:
I have been told that we, the parents, had caused the eating disorder.
My therapist spends the majority of therapy time alone with the teen.
My therapist spends a lot of time talking about the past and reasons my child wanted, needed, or otherwise developed the disorder.
A dietitian has met alone with my teen and given him or her nutritional recommendations.
My child has been given a meal plan.
I have been told that it is an option to not supervise all meals or prevent all purging.
The FBT therapist has provided individual CBT, DBT, or ACT with the teen during the weight restoration phase.
I have been told from the start of treatment to “not be the food police” (in FBT, this might happen toward the end of treatment, or in Phase 2 with an older teen).
My child has been in charge of making his or her own meals from the outset of treatment.
In conclusion, FBT has been proven to be the most effective treatment for adolescents in clinical trials. That said, not every treatment works for everyone. In my opinion, it is best to start with something that has a backing and then try something else if that doesn’t work. When you have sought out an evidence-based treatment, it’s important to make sure you’re getting the treatment in its researched form.
Title: Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder: Assessment, neurobiology, and treatment
NOTE: This talk has already occurred. If you are looking for treatment for ARFID in Los Angeles, we encourage you to visit our ARFID page.
Description: Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) was recently added to the Feeding and Eating Disorders section of DSM-5 to describe children, adolescents, and adults who cannot meet their nutritional needs, typically because of sensory sensitivity, fear of aversive consequences, and/or apparent lack of interest in eating or food. ARFID is so new that there is currently no evidence-based treatment. This presentation will discuss how to recognize and diagnose ARFID, share preliminary findings from an ongoing NIMH-funded study of its neurobiological underpinnings, and describe a new cognitive-behavioral treatment currently being evaluated in an open trial.
Bio: Dr. Jennifer Thomas is the Co-director of the Eating Disorders Clinical and Research Program at Massachusetts General Hospital, and an Associate Professor of Psychology in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. Dr. Thomas’s research focuses on atypical eating disorders, as described in her books Almost Anorexic: Is My (or My Loved One’s) Relationship with Food a Problem? and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder: Children, Adolescents, and Adults. She is currently principal investigator on several studies investigating the neurobiology and treatment of avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder, funded by the U.S. National Institute of Mental Health and private foundations. She is also the Director of Annual Meetings for the Academy for Eating Disorders and an Associate Editor for the International Journal of Eating Disorders.
Location: The office of Dr. Lauren Muhlheim (4929 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 1000, Los Angeles) – free parking in the lot (enter on Highland)